do you remember
the first time you cracked
splitting the seams
just enough
to allow icy water
to sneak
ever so slowly
into the soft parts
of your mind
swallowing the breath
from your lungs
in an instant
do you remember
how it ached
and hurled a tremendous
heaviness
like a wool blanket
stealing the oxygen
right out from under
your fire
suffocating
the part of you
that used to illuminate
at dawn
while inhaling hazy dew
reflecting hues of apricot
somewhere high above
sea level
can you even forget
the first time
his gaze
passed effortlessly beyond
the eagerness
of your fresh
beating
heart
it would be nice
wouldn't it
to pretend
we were all just playing
rounds
of chutes & ladders
where colored pieces
were just that
and everytime
you slide back down
to start
you weren't in fact
being shoved
deep
into hungry
subconscious beliefs
that everyone
will always
leave
you
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